Beware of Cell Phone Companies Baring Gifts!

Though, not strictly on-topic: I got a call today from my cellular telephone company offering to lower my monthly rate, plus add 500 shared minutes, plus unlimited messaging, free call forwarding (they were charging for call forwarding?!), and add unlimited data* (notice the asterisk) to the line that didn't have data, all for a few bucks less than I was already paying--and, no contract extension!

So, what's the catch?

I spent 2 hours on the phone, and researching online. I was skeptical, accusatory--even a little rude, at times. I just couldn't find anything wrong with the deal...unitl, I got to that pesky asterisk (*). (Not that I could actually see an asterisk, since the cell phone companies seem to have adopted the most liberal interpretation of an oral contract. Even Kim Basinger had to "shake on it".)

When I finally agreed that there was, apparently, nothing wrong with the offer, I asked for a "read-back" of the details. When she got to the "unlimited data", she paused and said, "well, you know, 5G's, or something like that. I mean, that's basically unlimited, right". (Insert screeching-brake sound effect here.)

I asked her to check my data usage history, and found that, when I'm traveling, I tend to go well over 5 Gigabytes of monthly usage on my current--actual--unlimited plan. Mind you, this may not be typical for all subscribers. After all, occasionally, I like to stream a little television from my smart-phone via a video adapter cable to the TV in my hotel room. And, though I won't admit to hacking my phone and unlocking its tethering capability, I could--if I wanted to. I also won't admit to broadcasting said broadband via wi-fi for a room full of people to use as an impromptu hot-spot, I could do that too--if I wanted to.

Finally, I could see why I was receiving the call. This was a Trojan Horse. An opportunity to blind a customer with pretty bauble's, as not to notice his fortress was being raided for all it's precious and truly unlimited bounty. I wasn't buyin' what she was sellin'.

Suffice it to say, a little haggling later (and, probably a little more rudeness), I kept my unlimited broadband, and lowered my cell phone bill.

Moral of the story: When a service is in abundant supply--in this case cellular providers--it's a buyers market. Now, if someone would just flood the market with physicians.

About Jeff M. Fischbach

Jeff Michael Fischbach is founder and President of SecondWave Information Systems (SecondWave.com), a consulting firm specializing in Forensic Technology. Since 1994, he has served as a board member and technology adviser to numerous professional organizations and corporations. Mr. Fischbach has been engaged as a litigation consultant and Forensic Examiner, offering expert advice and oversight on matters involving intellectual property, computers, information systems, satellite, tracking and wireless communications technologies. He has advised law enforcement, foreign government representatives, judges, lawyers and the press.